No Direction Home: Sweetness Follows

June 6, 2021

Sweetness Follows

When I heard the news, my heart fell on the floor, I was at the beach at Ft. Zachary Taylor State Park, the same state park where I sat with my mother and sister Michele in February of 2020 just before the pandemic hit on what would be my mother’s final visit to Key West, and final trip anywhere as it turns out. The news that my mother had passed was not surprising or shocking. She was 90 years old and had been in failing health for some time and had been in hospice care for a month at least. But getting the actual word is jarring nonetheless.

Thankfully I can’t think of a better place to be than at the beautiful beach that she loved so much with my wife Kathy and close friends Fiona, Nadene, Trevor and their daughter Meredith. Watching Meredith play with a young friend, serving us plates of food made from sand was a comforting reminder that life goes on and should be celebrated and enjoyed.

My mother always did that, making the most of what really an incredible life right to the very end. I got my endless source of energy, curiosity, adventurer spirit and appreciation of culture from her and even I could not keep up with her endless drive. I feel blessed that I was able to stop and say my final farewell just a few days before she passed as I altered my return drive from attending the Indy 500 through Winston-Salem where I could say goodbye.

It was a tough and emotional thing to do, but I am so glad that I was able to be there, even briefly. It was also good to see my sister Marika and her husband Brian who have taken on the lion’s share of responsibility for Marta’s care and comfort. I can never thank them enough for what they have done to ensure that Marta had the best 24-hour care and support in the past couple of years. It was a tough road and my sister Michele (in Indianapolis) and I struggled with being the siblings who lived so far away, but we were always able to count on Marika and Brian and owe them tremendous gratitude.

I also would be remiss to not mention the amazing caregivers who became Marta’s companions full time and who truly provided the loving care and support that is required but so often such an underappreciated and thankless task. We have been incredibly fortunate to have a crew of some of the finest caregivers and people we could have asked for. Maintaining a firm, upbeat and pleasant demeanor under sometimes very difficult circumstances is a skill that few possess and the caregivers have been true angels of mercy for my mother.

My mother was a social creature, she loved people and loved life and this has been made readily apparent by the incredible outpouring of well wishes, notes, texts, phone calls and facebook messages that we have been inundated with since word of her passing got out. She had a huge network of friends both in Indianapolis and Winston-Salem and was blessed with some of the finest people I have known among her friends. I wish I had the time to respond to every single person who has reached out to our family, but I hope you all know that your kindness is appreciated and we are all so thankful for what you have all meant to Marta and to our family.

I won’t go on much about Marta’s life, you can read the obituary which gives a good overview or even order and read Marta’s book which is still available on Amazon.com. She led a remarkable life on her own terms and I was so fortunate to have such an amazing person as a role model and influence. Kathy and I are thrilled that she lived such a long and adventurous life and that we were able to share it with her right up until the end. Now we can move forward and celebrate that life, recall all the struggles and triumphs and move forward reveling in the friendships that we have formed because of her and honoring her memory by living life to the fullest.